letter to a friend on religion and the role--or lack thereof, of biology in psilocybin-mediated mystical experience:

I've def. had a peculiar experience of not feeling particularly at home in the religious traditions. Buddhism was useful in so far as providing a sort of anchor in practices that have allowed me to more effectively and gracefully navigate trance-states, particularly mindfulness with breathing. But I've always had a rather marked and unusual experience of rubbing up against the heirarchical and power-oriented structures of religion in a way that has always been somewhat aversive. If you've ever read 'the guru papers,' it captures my feelings on the subject of authoritarianism in religious organizations. Interestingly enough, I've more or less arrived at the same conclusion per religions and was--in fact, voicing this perspective earlier in the week: religion is more about power and breeding than genuine illumination. That said, on the rare ocassion I def. had some rather interesting transmission-type encounters with teachers in the Buddhist tradition. These transmission-type encounters were in many ways, akin to the energetic-type transmission I described in Huautla with the 'Virgin' image on the altar. If you remember the story of Wasson's first night with Maria Sabina, in the early part of the ceremony she tells Wasson to keep the left side of the altar clear because that is the place where the 'Holy Spirit' will descend. In the months before I had traveled to Huautla, I had a series of dreams where it had been suggested--to use the language of the dream, that I would travel to Mexico and find the 'mother of god' in the mountains. I experienced sim. states of 'transmission' when I visited the bodhi tree in Bodhgaya, and when I've pilgrimaged to retreat caves; it seems on some level that nature itself has a living-intelligent aspect that allows it to transmit this gnosis.

I certainly didn't mean to be so much 'provocative' as candid here! I will definitely agree that the brain appears to have a general orientation towards psychedelic experience at the biochemical levels; by proxy it seems prudent to assume that we evolutionarily adapted to the experience. In terms of the actual content and nature of some of my own direct experiences with several of these compounds, there is another part of me that is inclined to postulate what the alchemists called an 'opus contra naturam,' a dimension of depth ala Heraclitus

'You could not in your going find the limits of soul though you travelled the whole way - so deep is its logos.'

That is to say while certain aspects of the experience appear to fall within the rubric of natural law ala brain and behavior, other aspects of the experience appear to intimate an a priori, pre-existent and transcendent form of consciousness-itself. So I wonder at times if by applying naturalistic metaphors to a transcendent phenomenon: are we unconsciously projecting psychosexuality and sociobiology onto what may in fact be wholly and truly Other ... ?

'the little ones that spring forth come of their own accord, no one knows from whence or where ...'

My own primary initiatory ordeal at 20 years old def. played on these sorts of themes, and I have often wondered at it all-years later, I'm still coming to grips with the experience that set me on this road from the beginning. I took a particularly large dose of mushrooms that night, and as the trance surged I fell into a total and complete trance. Deep in the trance, I snapped out of my state and came to in another sort of world. I was in a sort of cave-like vaulted space, and there were a series of these angelic beings surrounding me. This wasn't a 'hallucination' in the typical sense, it was as real and vivid and tactile as anything i've ever experienced, I could see these beings in vivid detail. I looked down at my hands and clear as day I could see: there were puncture wounds/stigmata at each wrist, with blood pouring out of my body. There were seven deities, and each of them had a bowl in their hand. The first deity came up to me, and it was so vivid and detailed, they began removing body-parts and placing them within their bowls. Each of the bowls contained what I can only describe as a sort of 'mortification of the soul,' almost like a germ of a disease; so each of my body-system was being subjected to these disease states. As I was passed around the circle, my various body-systems were removed and placed within the respective bowls, it was quite hellish really. When I got to the last deity--who was particularly ominous I might add, he took hold of my skull, completely removed the flesh. I felt an IMMENSE sense of pressure and then 'poof,' was gone ...

When I came to, I was in a vaulted but heavenly space, there was this five-pointed start that comprised the structure of what I can best describe as an immortal-energy body. This five-pointed star was being spun along this spiral axis as I witnessed the creation of my DNA. Prior to the physical engenderment of my form, my consciousness from this five pointed body of infinite light into a plane of being that I believe is what shamanic cultures call the 'dimension of the ancestors,' in this place I saw all of my family and close friends, as well as old pets I had, all of this seemed to be part of the process of 'ensoulment,' or the a priori engenderment of human telos ala Heraclitus 'ethico anthropos daimon,' or 'character is fate.' From this point, this soul-energy was spun along the DNA strand through a point of focus, suddenly I realized that I was staring directly at the creation of ... I don't know the precise physiology, but there is a sort of juncture where the optic nerve interfaces with the brain: people call this the third eye. From this juncture, I then watched in amazement as my brain and physical-organ systems were spun on this cosmic loom. There was a being who was doing this process of engendering the physical form, I believe this is what people call Christ etc. Each of the organ systems was like a fresh coat of paint, once the nervous system had been coated the skeletal system, the vascular system, it was like watching detailed videos of surgery, extremely detailed and highly resolved visions like the words on this page. Finally my integumentary system was coated, I slowly came back to the physical plane ... and that was that ...

But that experience had a remarkable impact on me psychospiritually; within a year I had left academia and traveled to India on 'the journey.' To this day, the mushroom will do this thing to me in deep trance ... I will see the mushroom as an immense totemic deity comprised of interpenetrating spheres, as these spheres rotate one within the other, their motion will create these elven entities that divebomb my body ... sometimes one of these little plunging elf-gods hit a switch right in the center of my third eye ... and while my consciousness is very much present, suddenly I realize my physical body is no longer present in the room ... it's like a ridiculous magic trick ... I can feel my body from the inside, but it is quite literally not present in the room ... I wave my arms in front of my face, but I see nothing ... gone ... gone ... gone to the other shore ...

So while part of me may be involved in the activity of sociobiology, another part of me--this 'opus contra naturam,' seems to abide in ecstasy.

cordially with candour,

Mycologica